These squirrels, they're killing me.

The thing about squirrels is that they fall out of trees. If you were to stay out of the shadow of the trees, you might be able to get through a certain forest and only have to fight, like, one or two rabid squirrels.

keep getting lost in the mine and/or eaten by hermit crabs.

First, make sure you've talked to Cap about your quest and secured a bottomless bag of glowing cheese poofs. Use these to mark dead ends and paths you've already explored. 

If you've gotten the cheese poofs and are still having trouble with the mine, here are a few other tips: 

  • The mine has three levels, and what you want is – of course – at the bottom of the third level. You can tell which level you're on by the style of the braces holding back the rock. On the first level, they are made from three simple wood beams. On the second level, they're made out of dark wood and have rounded tops. On the third level, they are made of metal.
  • The hermit crabs make a clacking sound when approaching, so if you listen you won't be taken by surprise.
  • There's an autosave created at the entrance to the mine, so you can always start again from the beginning.
  • If it helps your morale, know that you won't have to find your way back out again... 

OMG, there are too many people slapping me to death. 

Yes, that can happen. The key to beating large numbers of people unconscious without losing too much health is to magically stun them while they're clumped together and then hack at them as a group. It's also helpful to make sure your focus and energy are fully regenerated before each encounter. If you do not know how to magically stun people, consult Cap, who's chilling in the Basement.

All the doors in the brewery prison are locked.

If you've fought through the first two brewery buildings and find your way blocked by metal bars, you should consider the effect that a magical push might have on a certain highly conspicuous switch. If you have no magic, this might be a good time to learn some. 

I'm in Everglow, but it doesn't seem possible to make it through the city with out getting eaten by zombies.

In zombie infested cities – like in life – some paths are impossible. Try a new one, and make sure you're making a pit stop at the Starblocks.

I've found a spider that I'm having trouble with.

Patience is probably what you're missing. Instead of charging straight in and attacking it with your shiny new pink sword, watch it for, like, a whole minute or two. You might notice that something happens to it when the spike's pulse hits it.